Pushing through Ain’t pretty
Breakthroughs occur when we push through fear to initiate healthy, positive conversations with ourselves.
2021 was my sabbatical year and I was fortunate to travel and experience many unique cultures. I was surrounded by picturesque scenery, the Caribbean and Pacific oceans were less than an hour's drive away, and I met the most friendly people but most importantly, I lived a more abundant and stress-free lifestyle.
Yet, despite all the positives, I experienced happiness and guilt.
Happiness guilt is this dichotomy between being happy and feeling guilty. The idea of taking a sabbatical or a career break was so foreign to me. I have worked since I was 14 and to now have this “free time” at times made me feel guilty.
A few years ago, my health took a turn for the worse due to work stress and I ended up in the hospital with some decisions to make. My inner critic was screaming at me -- your life is not a scene from “Eat, Pray, Love,” and you better get back to that “good job,” because only rich white woman get time off to re-group. YOU better suck it up and push through!
The thing is, I had seen what pushing through looked like and it wasn‘t pretty.
Pushing through landed me in the hospital with high blood pressure.
Pushing through caused me to fall asleep behind the wheel of my car while driving home from work resulting in a three-car accident. I was exhausted and had not been listening to my body for months.
Pushing through caused me to cancel getting regular Dr’s check-ups because I felt guilty about leaving the office. When you are the ONLY ONE, there is a certain heightened sense that all eyes are on you, so I put off my care for office visibility.
My options were to stay stuck in this matrix or, I could chart a new path and create the life I wanted and deserved.
I knew that I deserved time off, yet my perception was going against that. Perception is our level of vision, experiences, how we grew up, etc. which plays into how we react and respond to life. Remember, I said the idea of a sabbatical was foreign to me, meaning no one in my family or inner circle had ever done anything similar.
So, I had to let go of some self-imposed beliefs that were holding me back:
I was Un-deserving of rest
I was Un-deserving of joy
I was Un-deserving happiness
I was Un-deserving of peace
I was able to get all that I deserved and so much more by overcoming my limiting beliefs.
What perceptions have you created and are carrying around that are preventing you from your breakthroughs and your best imaginable life?
Healings and blessings,
Cathey
